Thursday, July 8, 2010

Time flies, whether your having fun or not!

It’s been over a year since I left for Brazil. In some ways that seems like ages ago, in others it seems like it was yesterday. There was something about that trip that has made it become a marker in the timeline of Andrea’s life. Just like graduating from high school or college or starting my first job, going to Brazil in July of 2009 marked something in my life. I’m just not quite sure what that is. That trip was unlike any of the others I have been on. Again, I don’t know if I could put into words what made it different. Maybe part of it was because of the relationships I made with the students and leaders on our team. Another part might be seeing the Spirit of God work like I have never before seen. Or maybe it was certain questions and thoughts that were spoken to me, that I still can’t fully answer. I am sure it was a combination of things that left me not wanting to leave (a first!). I boarded that plane, in tears, unsure of all of these things going on in my heart.
I arrived home to a different apartment. It was the same complex, same size, same floor plan, and even had the furniture in the same place, the only new part was that it was on the other side of the complex. This perfectly described what I was feeling. I was coming home to the same life I had when I left. Yet it was different. Everything is the same, yet still different.
My goal after arriving back home was to continue to discover what God was doing in my heart as well as answer the questions posed to me. As time went on, the novelty of it wore off. The ‘high’ was gone. And here we are, a year later and I have to ask myself, “What have you done all year?” My first reaction is always the same. Nothing! I’ve done nothing with my life.
But as I look back, life isn’t necessarily the same anymore. In the past year, I have traveled to three countries: Brazil, Canada, and France. I have completed three years at ACSI. I have been able to play a part in the launch of RH Fullerton though prayer nights and the greeting team and have found a church home. I’ve led a life group for 2.5 years and have watched my group (as well as myself) change and grow. In the last year, I trained (if you could call it that) and ran a 5K. I’ve learned a lot about myself, good and bad.
And while I can see that I have actually done something, I have to ask myself, does it matter? Do these things have an eternal significance? What have I done that will matter in eternity? I’ve been really convicted lately with the amount of time, money etc that I spend on me and what I want and what makes me comfortable. What else are we here for other than to share Jesus? I don’t want to look back on this next year and see that I have done all of these amazing things, but in the end, it has no significance.
I want to be apart of the revolution Jesus is inviting us to play a part in. I want to do something that matters. I don’t want to do what is comfortable. And as hard as it is to even type out I want to trust Him so completely that I am unafraid to put myself in situations where I will be in trouble if He doesn't come through.