Tuesday, September 3, 2013

On jumping and trusting.

Yesterday was Labor Day. Each year, I spend this day down in Oceanside with my family.  For the past 30+ years we have spent this day BBQing, swimming and catching up with each other.

Yesterday was no different. I drove down first thing in the morning, a little concerned with the 68 degrees and heavy cloud cover that accompanied me as I made my way down.

I was greeted with a hug from the cutest five year old who ran over to my car when I arrived.  We walked in and gave hugs and hellos to everyone to was already there. Soon the food was out which meant my plate was now full of salads and desserts.

We sat around tables eating and laughing and complaining about the now 90+ degrees outside. That meant it was time to get in the pool.  An integral part of France Family Labor Day BBQ is the older cousins throwing, tossing and dunking the younger cousins around in the water. This year was a little more mellow in that area. As we chatted in the pool, I would be summoned by a little voice saying, ‘Andrea! Watch!’. So I would watch and smile and clap as that adorable five year old would jump off the side of the pool to his dad.

He would do this over and over. And each time as he would get ready to jump again, he would ask, ‘Dad, you’ll catch me right?’
Dad: Yes, Im right here. 
Son: You’ll catch me?
Dad: Yes, I have caught you each time you have jumped, right?
Son: yeah. (Takes a big breath and apprehensively jumps)

Two thoughts ran through my head at the same time. Kind of annoyed that it took him so long to jump each time, I thought, why are you still scared. Your dad has caught you every single time. He is right there. He isn’t going to let anything to happen to you. He hasn’t given you any reason to believe he won't catch you. Just jump.

The second thought was that is the conversation I have with God all. the. Time.
Andrea: You’ll catch me right?
God: Yes, I’m right here.
Andrea: But you’ll really catch me?
God: Yes, I have caught you each time you have jumped right?
Andrea: Yeah…(except I still don’t believe he will catch me and I continue to sit on side of life)

I watched as another cousin, this one is about seven years old, stood on the shoulders of her dad as he would launched her over and over to the deep end of the pool. She laughed and kept coming back for more. Higher, farther, faster. It didn’t matter. She wanted to go. She trusted that her dad would be there.

Oh, how I want to be like my cousins. To go, do, say what my father asks of me…even if I am terrified.  He has never given me any reason not to trust him.